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Archive for the tag “parenting”

The wackiest advice I’ve ever heard

Today’s Post a Day 2011 topic is the wackiest advice I’ve ever heard.

Most of the wackiest advice I’ve heard has been pregnancy, birth or parenting related – you know, everyone’s an expert…

When my mother saw a pic on Facebook of me carrying DestructaBoy in a Moby Wrap she posted me newspaper clippings about babies suffocating in slings (incidentally they were bag slings, not something I own or use but she is still very concerned).

There was the colleague who while I was pregnant – and we were in an elevator – decided to give me advice on perineal massage that included a demonstration (using just her hands thank g*d). And another rather rotund male colleague who saw me making two slices of toast with avo for lunch and said “you know its a blessing, not an excuse, right?” and when I said “what?” he replied “the baby, its a blessing… not an excuse to eat. Thats a LOT of food”. Ass.

Other odd advice given is usually about co-sleeping (I’m going to roll on my child and kill him), breastfeeding (apparently 5 months is too long) and sleeping in general (the words “rod for your own back” get mentioned rather a lot).

Aah the joys!

Daycare dilemmas

First off, I would LOVE to be a stay-at-home-mum, but circumstances don’t allow it and wont allow it unless we win the lottery. My partner was a stay at home dad for a year but we weren’t able to make ends meet and so he had to go back to work, which means both our kids are in daycare.

Over the last 3 years our daughter has been to 3 different daycares – and is soon to start at a 4th.

I think either we have different ideas of “normal” or we’ve become “those” parents. You know, the ones that other parents roll their eyes about and teachers avoid like the plague.

At one daycare whenever we fetched her she was miserable and hungry. The kind of hungry where she’d gladly chew on the dashboard given half a chance. I fetched her early one day, coincidentally at lunchtime and realised why… the kids aged 2 – 5 were left to dish up food for themselves, eat unsupervised and then scrape off their plates and put in the sink. Which I guess for some kids is fine. But my kid was a teeny 2 year old and she wasn’t getting food! When I was there it seemed the bigger and more aggressive kids got food first and whatever was left the smaller kids could get to. Natural selection toddler style? I was furious!!

At another daycare she came home wearing makeup. She looked like a miniature drag queen complete with bronzer, blue eye-shadow and lipstick. Not wearing makeup myself means we don’t keep makeup remover and it was removed painstakingly in the bath with soap and many tears. We asked nicely that it not happen again and explained that we have no problems with face paint but didn’t feel makeup was appropriate. Apparently the school felt we were being “conservative” and she came home again with a face full of makeup. I sent a pretty scathing letter to the manager and followed it up with a visit. Our family values aside, surely there are concerns around allergies and hygiene?

Most days when we collect her the kids are watching videos on Youtube. Often things we wouldn’t be happy for her to watch at home. I don’t like the kids having internet access at daycare. I don’t like them watching anything on Youtube without my supervision and I also don’t want a daycare deciding its ok for my daughter to watch things that aren’t appropriate for children of all ages. If it says “PG” it means “parental guidance” not “early-childhood-educator guidance”. Grrrr.

The last straw was arriving at daycare to find my child not there. Apparently there was an impromptu bus trip into the CBD on Xmas Eve, traipsing through the shops. I can only assume some of the teachers wanted to finish their Xmas shopping. The daycare knows our daughter only goes on excursions with one of us coming along. They claim they called me and left a message. I had no missed calls, no messages, but more importantly, would no response from me somehow be construed as consent?

So, we’re off to daycare #4. They’ve been given a long list of “do not’s” and I’m feeling like a helicopter parent.

So, is it just us?

Sleep deprivation is torture

It’s been 5 months since I last slept for more than 4 hours in a row. And those 4 hours were a gift, usually DestructaBoy wakes every 2 to 3 hours.

It wasn’t unexpected. The Diva didn’t sleep for longer than 40 minutes for a very long time (so this could be seen as an improvement). But it doesn’t really make it easier.

When I am sleep deprived the first thing to go is my sense of humour. I have a very short fuse and I don’t lose my temper, I don’t argue, so I end up simmering… radiating displeasure. My family mostly knows better than to mention it. Anyone who tells me how their child slept through at 6 weeks, 8 weeks, whatever, is asking for their own special voodoo doll (and I have many, many wakeful hours to poke pins in it).

Next to go are any decision-making capabilities which is a b*tch when you’re a project manager, I’ll tell you that much for free. Drupal or Joomla? PMBOK or Agile? Left or right? Beach or park? Apples or oranges? The smallest decision will be greeted with a blank look. I don’t have the mental capacity to choose between anything no matter how inconsequential. I imagine this can be quite frustrating for everyone around me. Not to mention that I walk around looking like a complete tool for a major part of the day.

I’m trapped in a sleep-food cycle. Only able to concentrate on these two most basic needs. Until I get a good night’s sleep I cant even begin to focus on anything else. I am plodding through each day just putting one foot in front of the other and clinging to the knowledge that one day he will sleep. One day I will sleep. It can’t go on like this forever, right?

Is he a good baby?

Why is it that when people meet a mom with a baby they usually ask two questions…

Is he a good baby?

Does he sleep through the night?

First off, is there any such thing as a bad baby? They’re all good babies, right? I’m never quite sure what they mean by this but I figure they’re just trying to make conversation so I smile and say that yes, he’s a wonderful baby. And then, is it related at all to the second question (that always follows). Is he only a good baby if he sleeps through the night?

When I say “yes, he’s wonderful” and then follow it with “no, he doesn’t sleep through the night” there’s sometimes this confused look as though the two are mutually exclusive.

Anyhoo… just something I find a bit odd.

I hate the sleeping through question! Sometimes I’m absolutely fine about him not sleeping through and other days I’m not. On the “not” days I’d happily put my head through the nearest plate glass window the minute someone asks me about it, or worse, tells me about their baby who slept through from 6 weeks.

Do you get any odd baby/parenting questions?

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