I’m not a birthday person. Neither is my better half. On our birthdays we like to do pretty much what we do every other day of the year and even having a cake is considered “making a big deal out of it”.
So I don’t really understand the drama that seems to go along with children’s birthday parties. You know, the “but I invited her to my snotball’s party so why didn’t she invite me to hers?”, and the “but I’m having a Tinkerbell the Fairy party so she cant have one too” type thing.
For DH and I kids birthdays 1, 2 & 3 are a family & friends affair – a “Yay! We’ve managed to keep them alive for another year!” celebration. But after that they have their own friends and know what their birthday is and have some very clear ideas of what they do and don’t want. So for us, birthday 4 onward they can invite their daycare/school friends (and I’d love to keep the parties small just because I’m not a huge fan).
This of course means that our family and friends don’t get an invite. And I know it causes upset. But I just don’t know if I want to get into the habit of celebrating each birthday twice so we don’t hurt someone’s feelings, kwim?
And we don’t expect invites to any parties either – when we get an invite its a happy surprise, not an expected outcome, or a promise to invite them when our turn comes around. When we don’t get invited to a party I figure they wanted to keep it small, only invite family/friends, invite kids their kid plays with regularly/better, or they think our kid is a troll… and that’s ok!