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Archive for the category “Emigration”

I’m having a wobbly week

I know the “rule” is if you don’t have anything positive to blog about then don’t blog” but to hell with that, its MY blog (and its not like I haven’t already broken all the other blog rules).

I’m having a wobble. This whole week I’ve been really rattled and its an accumulation of things that probably seem small on their own but together are leaving me feeling very overwhelmed and unhappy.

My better half is scheduled to have major surgery at the end of October. Any kind of hospital stay has me rattled but more so being so far away from our families. This is the part of emigration I hate most! Its knowing you are absolutely on your own at the times when you most need your family to be there. We faced this 2 years ago when we were in hospital with the Diva – but then at least I had DH to lean on (and vice versa) and only one child to care for. Now I am scared about the operation. I’m worried that something will go wrong and DH wont wake up afterward – and I cant say so to him because he’s scared enough himself already. I don’t know how we’re going to manage with him being in hospital, me being at work and juggling both kids – and that’s just for the hospital stay, never mind the 6 weeks afterward where he’ll have limited mobility and not be allowed to drive. I need my mom and my sister and my father-in-law here, and all are either unable or unwilling to come (most unable – and validly so, but the unwilling is really upsetting).

Then there is just the constant battle, feeling like it doesn’t matter how hard we work or how much we earn we just never manage to get on top of things. Every time you feel like you’re getting ahead something breaks, or some urgent expensive need comes up 😦

And I’m tired of being the “fun police”. I’m tired of having to juggle all the accounts and say “no” to every single thing that would mean extra money. I’m tired of being responsible all the time. Its draining! I’m tired, I’m grumpy, I am gatvol.

I’m reminding myself that there are people out there who have it so much worse. And I’m doing what I can to get back to my happy place. But I am also allowing myself a large bowl of icecream and a good sulk.

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What a weekend!

What a crazy weekend we’ve had!

My lovely relaxed happy-go-lucky little boy morphed into a grumpy grinch and spent friday, saturday and sunday crying or wailing. A high temperature and lots of drool meant we suspected it was teething related and sure enough one tooth has just broken through with another pressing against the gums. I am not looking forward to the rest of this teething thing if its going to be like this for every tooth. And if anyone has any advice (short of keeping him medicated for the next few months) please share.

It seems to be the month for birthday parties with the Diva being invited to at least 2 every weekend for the next few weeks (see I’m not a fan of birthdays). This weekend one of her old friends from daycare #2 had her 4th birthday party at the beach which was really nice! My very odd kid ignored the cake and dived into the fruit platter (she definitely does not get that from me!), all was fine until an hour or so after we got home when she turned slightly green, left the room and regurgitated all the fruit onto the rug in the hallway. Blegh!! She kept getting sick for the rest of the day and I was a bit worried we’d have to cancel her party… luckily she woke up on Sunday morning a little pale and withdrawn but otherwise fine.

Diva woke up on Sunday and was led outside with her eyes closed. When she saw her gift, a very large trampoline she stood silent for a few seconds and then said “woah!…” like she couldn’t quite believe it was there. Then she thought it was just for her party and we explained that its hers and its staying. She’s been on and off it ever since and its made her quite popular with the neighbours kids too!

Sunday afternoon was party time and I think we’ll be doing all future parties at a venue, it was the best party ever. She and her friends from daycare had an amazing time! They got to dress up, were entertained by 3 or 4 fairies, had a treasure hunt, decorated cookies and had feast at a table laden with cupcakes, cookies, pizza and other goodies (none of which were made by me) and all the adults could sit and chat with a drink and some food, or join in the fun with the kids. Ivy cottage rocks!

I know having a party with only daycare friends was controversial with friends and family but it really worked out well for the kids and at the end of the day I wanted the party to be all about the Diva. Next time we may consider doing a separate barbecue to share the day with family and friends as well if time and finances allow but I’d always like to keep the school/daycare party separate.

Here are a few pics from the party…

What are you shy about?

I’m shy about my accent. The minute someone asks “so, where are you from?” I can feel the blush creeping up my neck and I want to be anywhere but there. I don’t know why it makes me shy – maybe its because with one sentence they’ve reminded me that I am a foreigner, an outsider. I quite like the safety of “belonging”.

What are you shy about?

Thank heavens for Skype

Emigration is lonely, lonely, lonely. You don’t realise how much your support system – family & friends – mean to you until you cant see them. You know you’ll miss them but the enormity of it doesn’t sink in until you’ve moved and the novelty of the new country/home/job has worn off.

Its worst on special occasions, birthdays, anniversaries, christmas. For christmas this year we had a Skype conference call with my sister in L.A and my mom in the UK.

It’s not the same, but I am still very grateful for Skype video calling! Its Friday evening here and I just spent an hour talking to my sister in the US where it is Thursday evening – we usually video call and then carry on with whatever we need to do, chatting as we do it. So this evening she was working in Photoshop, giving a visiting friend directions and printing Vinyl (she’s super talented!) and I was rocking DestructaBoy to sleep, entertaining the Diva and having a cuppa.

It was nice to just chat – even though I wish we could share a meal and talk all night. Anyway, I took a sneaky Skype pic while she was on, so here she is…

P.s Loving the cleavage La!

Guest post on Female2Female

So, I was asked to write a guest post for Female2Female, a South African website with blog posts/articles written by women for women – and after only 2 weeks of having a blog! Can you tell I’m stoked?

So, here’s an excerpt and a link to the full post…

“When Laura asked me to write this post my first thought was “yay, my first guest blog post!” and my second thought was “uh oh, this could open a can of worms”.

See she’d asked me to write about emigration which is a contentious subject, particularly among South Africans. A lot of countries have a relaxed attitude to migration, its something that’s expected and encouraged. But when a South African migrates its seen as a judgement on those who have chosen to stay, and likewise those who choose to stay are seen to be making a judgement about those who choose to leave.”

Read the rest here

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