What kind of friend are you?
For me, a low maintenance friend is one that doesn’t expect you to return their phone calls/emails within any specific time period, they don’t necessarily remember your birthdays and they certainly don’t remember the birthdays of your kids, your spouse or any other life anniversaries, low maintenance friends don’t usually care who else you are friends with or who you invite where and to what, its a zero-drama relationship that can handle long gaps between seeing each other (and you just pick up wherever you left off when you get together). A high maintenance friend is more needy and wants frequent communication – and validation. You’re expected to return calls & emails pronto, remember their birthdays and agree with them on things they think are important, and if there’s a long gap where you don’t see or speak to each other feelings are hurt.
I used to be a super low maintenance friend, and I think that for some of my long-standing friendships this is still true because they have enough history behind them to be very valuable to me even if I’m not in regular contact. But as time goes on I get less and less tolerant and become far more high maintenance and its affecting me making new friendships. I’ve now got lots of very good ‘old’ friendships and very, very few (ok, almost none) new friends. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a gripe… its just an observation. I wonder if everyone gets crankier and less accepting of things as they age or if its just me turning into a moany old cow?