The libido fairy
Every time a man lies in bed pretending not to hear a crying child, a female libido fairy dies,” wrote father-of-two Jack Ellis last year in his entry for a competition to find Australia’s Mentally Sexiest Dad. “And you can’t bring her back by tapping together your red dancing shoes and saying, “I believe in fairies”. I know. I’ve tried.”
I had a cackle… and then started thinking about the things that kill my libido fairy. I’m sure if I spent long enough thinking about it the list would be endless, but here are a few:
1. When I spend a great deal of time and effort in the kitchen making dinner, put it on the table and call the family. Who then decide its time to have a shower, check their email, or finish watching an arb TV programme… even though they knew dinner was on its way. To me food = love. And letting it sit on the table getting cold and congealed is hugely disrespectful. I’m sure it instantly kills about 10 libido fairies.
2. Suggesting things for me to do when I am sitting down watching TV/on my computer (active things, housekeeping things… whatever)
3. Helping me with the baby… by putting him in bed with me when he is awake (happy, sure… but only for about as long as it takes you to make a speedy exit)
4. Making smart-arse comments about the TV program I am watching – to me the worse the program the more escapist it is. I love reality TV, especially if it involves cooking, or backstabbing and bitchery on an impossibly beautiful island. I *know* its rubbish TV, thanks.
And on the flipside, the libido fairies multiply at a rapid rate when:
1. the man of the house takes the kids away and entertains them while I have a weekend sleep-in
2. I get to have a bath, on my own
3. I get brought a cup of tea while having a bath, on my own
4. Getting thanks – or even better, compliments – on the dinner I’ve made
What kills your libido fairy?