Decisions around family size
I was reading a blog post on Babycenter yesterday where a family has one child, the mom desperately wants another but her husband doesn’t. Almost more interesting than the blog post itself were the 144 responses it received.
I really felt for the blogger, that yearning for another child is not something you can ignore or just switch off. But some of the responses surprised me – there were a number of people who said she should just get pregnant and that her husband would deal with it when it happened and others that painted him to be a horrible person for not wanting a second child.
When I met my partner I was a teenager and convinced I never wanted children. A few years down the line I decided actually, 1 child would be really nice, and years later still I decided that 4 children would be the ideal number. I don’t think it would be fair to hold me to what my idea of the perfect family size was when we met mostly because of my age at the time but also because people change, circumstances change.
My partner is done. For him 2 children is more than enough. Sometimes I feel a little sad about it but I think he’s being reasonable – we can’t afford more children and we are very lucky to have been blessed with the two we have (if we ever won the lottery though I’d probably re-open the discussion!).
One thing I would never do is fall pregnant “accidentally-on-purpose”. It’s a decision that undermines everything a partnership/marriage is based on and I imagine the parent who did not want another child would feel very resentful towards the mother and battle to bond with the child.
Are you and your partner in agreement about the size of your family?