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Sleep deprivation is torture

It’s been 5 months since I last slept for more than 4 hours in a row. And those 4 hours were a gift, usually DestructaBoy wakes every 2 to 3 hours.

It wasn’t unexpected. The Diva didn’t sleep for longer than 40 minutes for a very long time (so this could be seen as an improvement). But it doesn’t really make it easier.

When I am sleep deprived the first thing to go is my sense of humour. I have a very short fuse and I don’t lose my temper, I don’t argue, so I end up simmering… radiating displeasure. My family mostly knows better than to mention it. Anyone who tells me how their child slept through at 6 weeks, 8 weeks, whatever, is asking for their own special voodoo doll (and I have many, many wakeful hours to poke pins in it).

Next to go are any decision-making capabilities which is a b*tch when you’re a project manager, I’ll tell you that much for free. Drupal or Joomla? PMBOK or Agile? Left or right? Beach or park? Apples or oranges? The smallest decision will be greeted with a blank look. I don’t have the mental capacity to choose between anything no matter how inconsequential. I imagine this can be quite frustrating for everyone around me. Not to mention that I walk around looking like a complete tool for a major part of the day.

I’m trapped in a sleep-food cycle. Only able to concentrate on these two most basic needs. Until I get a good night’s sleep I cant even begin to focus on anything else. I am plodding through each day just putting one foot in front of the other and clinging to the knowledge that one day he will sleep. One day I will sleep. It can’t go on like this forever, right?


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13 thoughts on “Sleep deprivation is torture

    • We had our 5-month Plunket visit today. The nurses eyes popped when she heard Emmett still wasn’t sleeping for longer than 3 hours at a time.

      When she asked how I was I said “fine!” and Jay said “cranky!” at the same time. I said “ok, I am cranky but on this amount of sleep who wouldn’t be!”

      Give a girl a break. And a box of Timtams.

      • Lol – I remember our plunket nurse’s face when at the 1 year check I told her that K was still waking 3 to 4 times a night for a feed…

        Give a girl a break and a friggin’ latte!

  1. Flip man! I am not looking forward to this!

    Kiara still wakes most nights but its max twice and then its quickly back to sleep!!!

    I really dont cope well on little sleep 😦

  2. glad Tso is not the only one!

    • You also got a non-sleeper Shuia? How was Luka when he was a baby?

      • I can’t remember with Luka lol! I think he ‘slept through’ at 7 months (7 – 11pm then 11pm till 5am).

        Tso – I haven’t really given him the opportunity. I hold him for most naps (bad bad blah blah), it’s my chance to surf the ‘net then. And at night, I’m not sure how often he wakes, just know that he does. I got rid of the clock in the bedroom coz it would just drive me insane knowing how often I was waking.

        He’ll be a teenager one day, and I’ll have my revenge *cue evil laughter*

      • I’m the opposite, I NEED to know otherwise I just convince myself I haven’t slept at all. The iPhone sleep cycle app keeps me sane.

  3. Oh yay the joy that awaits me soon.
    Rachel was terrible, like Isabella every 40 mins was normal
    Caleb was marginally better

  4. The iphone app is my friend. I feel good knowing my sleep cycles are improving – sometimes.

    I desperately wanted a large family, but these points certainly play into our consideration to stop. right. now.

    It’s hard when you’re trying to balance a fulfilling home life, aaand a career.

    • I must say the sleep issues (among other things) have killed my desire to have 4 children. I am feeling absolutely 100% done with my 2 now. On the upside Destructababy is now only waking once or twice a night and DH is letting me get a sleep-in on Saturdays… bliss!

      I hope you get some sleep soon Mother Hen!

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