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Guest post on Female2Female

So, I was asked to write a guest post for Female2Female, a South African website with blog posts/articles written by women for women – and after only 2 weeks of having a blog! Can you tell I’m stoked?

So, here’s an excerpt and a link to the full post…

“When Laura asked me to write this post my first thought was “yay, my first guest blog post!” and my second thought was “uh oh, this could open a can of worms”.

See she’d asked me to write about emigration which is a contentious subject, particularly among South Africans. A lot of countries have a relaxed attitude to migration, its something that’s expected and encouraged. But when a South African migrates its seen as a judgement on those who have chosen to stay, and likewise those who choose to stay are seen to be making a judgement about those who choose to leave.”

Read the rest here


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13 thoughts on “Guest post on Female2Female

  1. Wow! Congrats on guest-blogging and you are right about it being contentious.

    It’s a great post and you covered all the “right” things. I think the one that you missed though is “It is not South Africa – it never will be” I have found that very hard to deal with when it comes to meeting ex-Saffers. It worries me when people emigrate and then expect it to be the same as it was back home. It never is!

    Look forward to seeing more of your guest blogs 🙂

    • I am so glad you mentioned that! It drives me crazy when people emigrate and then spend enormous amounts of time whining about how its not SA. No kidding, did they miss that on the map?

      And the ones that go on about how much better things were done in SA, which makes me wonder why they left in the first place.

      I’ve perfected my “smile and wave” because its too frustrating to argue with them.

      • The one that gets to me the most is missing having a maid…
        In fact I was never more thankful that I don’t sound South African, than the morning I was with a Saffer, a Kiwi and an American and the Saffer turns to me and says “Have you noticed the large number of Kenyan and Zimbabwean refugees in town recently?” I answered “yes” SHE SAYS “ALL I THINK WHEN I SEE THEM IS… THEY’LL LOOK SO GOOD BEHIND MY IRONING BOARD!” It was such a WTF moment. All I could think to say was “If they are here they are probably not poorly educated women who need to do menial work… They’re likely to be teachers and doctors etc” Not the best answer but OMG! Sorry – had to share that with someone who would understand my horror… Luckily my friends are aware of the different mindsets of Saffer Expats!

    • OMG! She said that?!?! Isn’t it infuriating when you meet a south african here and they immediately assume that you are racist and/or left SA because of black people.

      I think I’d have been speechless. My eyes popped just reading about it.

      • I have found that it is easier to not confess to be South African, until you know someone well… Luckily for me, people think I am British or (eek) American! Very sad really. I love and miss SA so much… but nah – I am a kiwi now…

      • Yeah, sometimes its hard to be proudly south african here when so many south africans have given us a bad rep.

  2. Great post! I can SO relate to everything you’ve written there! 🙂

  3. Great post 🙂 Yip, i think this is one of of those subjects that gets everyone all worked up (me included :-))

    I think like most South Africans, its has crossed our minds to leave, but we are here for good.
    But I do agree with you on on the magnitude of teh move, I think a lot of people think it wont be as hard as it is. My sister in law has been n in Auckland for 13 years now, and she says she still has bad days when she misses SA a lot, which she never thought she would, and the family and friends link, she says she totally under estimated how much she would miss it. They have a great life there, its just the bonds she misses.

    Glad I found your blog 🙂

    • Its easy to downplay the bond you have with friends & family when they’re close by. Take them for granted almost – then when you move and you don’t have the support system you’ve been accustomed to you realise how big a part of your life those people were. Its definitely the hardest thing about moving!

      And I’m also glad you found my blog 🙂

  4. Michelle on said:

    Miss Shell from OB here! Love the blog and this post. I too am from SA but came here when I was 12 in 2001. Still remember an awful lot though.

    Totally agree with comments 1 and 2. A lot of other South Africans I met always went on about how rubbish everything in NZ was, almost as though they were forcibly removed from SA against their will!

    • Hey Miss Shell! So true about some Saffers going on as though they were forcibly removed – you feel a bit like saying “if it was all so good there then why don’t you go back?”. I think some people are naturally just whiners – you’ll find them complaining about everything and anything. I’m looking forward to taking my children back to SA for a visit when they are older, it will be interesting to go back as a tourist 🙂

  5. Oh now I have been on all sides of this debate. Have left and come back twice.

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